Mary the cat

I think I’ll lie down, stretch out; it’s

always nice on the big high couch.

In the sun spot, I can feel the warmth

until she comes in wanting a hug.

Why are people so needy?

Can’t they see I’m busy?

My perfect looks take all day;

licking my fur now and then.

Treats, chicken and duck are my favourites,

not the muck that comes in packets.

I want real meat, not animal offal

I assure you the stuff is really awful.

So it’s time for their bed, lights out; when

I knock over a glass I can hear them shout.

If I had what I wanted, I wouldn’t do this,

so feed me now and stop taking the piss.