Okay, it might’ve been a party; I just didn’t know it.
How did they know it was my birthday, anyway?
Alright, I did blow out the candles, and I ate a bit
of that delicious cake, but after ten minutes I ran away.
Carrie’s to blame, there’s no doubt about that,
and she knows I love cake, which is why I’m so fat.
And the rest of the gang, they all had a slice.
Washed down with champagne, it tasted so nice.
Look, I’ve paid the fine, so lets all move on; okay,
they sang happy birthday, maybe some other songs.
I got it wrong, and I’ve tried to explain
why I shouldn’t resign or accept any blame.
I’m above the law-I thought you knew, just like Trump,
I’ll do what I like, lie about it and if required I’ll jump
through the hoops, cause confusion-chaos rules
and as per, I’ll be backed by those red wall fools.
Resign! I hear, again and again-no chance of that-
I’m the boss- I’ll decide when I throw in my hat.
I’ve caused such misery and poverty across the land;
when will you see it’s all part of my plan?