It was a party?

Okay, it might’ve been a party; I just didn’t know it.

How did they know it was my birthday, anyway?

Alright, I did blow out the candles, and I ate a bit

of that delicious cake, but after ten minutes I ran away.

Carrie’s to blame, there’s no doubt about that,

and she knows I love cake, which is why I’m so fat.

And the rest of the gang, they all had a slice.

Washed down with champagne, it tasted so nice.

Look, I’ve paid the fine, so lets all move on; okay,

they sang happy birthday, maybe some other songs.

I got it wrong, and I’ve tried to explain

why I shouldn’t resign or accept any blame.

I’m above the law-I thought you knew, just like Trump,

I’ll do what I like, lie about it and if required I’ll jump

through the hoops, cause confusion-chaos rules

and as per, I’ll be backed by those red wall fools.

Resign! I hear, again and again-no chance of that-

I’m the boss- I’ll decide when I throw in my hat.

I’ve caused such misery and poverty across the land;

when will you see it’s all part of my plan?