Does anyone else ever ask themselves,
'Have I grown up, or have I just got old?'
That dark shadow within me rises up and almost devours me
on those rare occasions when I allow that old trigger to take away my peace
It's easy to be smug, and think that I have it under control
and that it won't come to haunt me anymore.
A loved one, a traffic jam or someone in 'my space,
and I don't get to park at the garden gate
Having to wait in a massive queue and someone jumps in front of you
I feel the hairs on my neck stand up and I want to shout
'Hey you, get to the back of the queue, don't be fly
Leaving the rest of us high and dry.'
Most of the time I say nothing, but sometimes
that monster called ego overtakes my mind
and out of my mouth I hear a voice, shouting out
to whoever has provoked it to make my mouth
shout angry words to my perceived misdemeanour.
It happen to me now less and less
But things that annoy me really put me to the test.
We all have a shadow that we hide from others
and knowing the triggers helps, unless it's your mother,
who knows how to press the right buttons
and say the things that make you feel rotten
Although this is not exclusive to mothers I have to admit.
It also happens with your grown up kids
I really must master the art of keeping my shadow locked up
in the depths of my mind with its mouth firmly shut.