The Shadow Within

Does anyone else ever ask themselves,

'Have I grown up, or have I just got old?'

That dark shadow within me rises up and almost devours me

on those rare occasions when I allow that old trigger to take away my peace

It's easy to be smug, and think that I have it under control

and that it won't come to haunt me anymore.

A loved one, a traffic jam or someone in 'my space,

and I don't get to park at the garden gate

Having to wait in a massive queue and someone jumps in front of you

I feel the hairs on my neck stand up and I want to shout

'Hey you, get to the back of the queue, don't be fly

Leaving the rest of us high and dry.'

Most of the time I say nothing, but sometimes

that monster called ego overtakes my mind

and out of my mouth I hear a voice, shouting out

to whoever has provoked it to make my mouth

shout angry words to my perceived misdemeanour.

It happen to me now less and less

But things that annoy me really put me to the test.

We all have a shadow that we hide from others

and knowing the triggers helps, unless it's your mother,

who knows how to press the right buttons

and say the things that make you feel rotten

Although this is not exclusive to mothers I have to admit.

It also happens with your grown up kids

I really must master the art of keeping my shadow locked up

in the depths of my mind with its mouth firmly shut.