There’s nae man like ma man; nae man makes lasagne like ma man. In fact, I’d go as far tae say-naebody can. No even the Italians, the...

Why do you keep those photos? He’s not in your life anymore, and I’ve told you before, I’m not having it, If you want me here, throw them...

He goes to school, unwashed and unkempt and the teacher decides to point it out. She pulls his ear, checks his neck, shouts out; the...

Walking through the woods, I hear the trees whispering, sharing confidences, and helping each other. The oak tree tells the birch to use...

I believe that family is what you make it, be it relatives or friends, or spouses. The blood of the covenant is stronger than the blood...

Wide awake drinking tea. It's 2am, deary me. The bones are aching, the cough is relentless and I'm feeling rather restless. During the...

1973, a man came to borrow her dad’s car to go up north. In he came, a young blond haired boy by his side. She glanced at them, and...

The demise of spaffer is a long haul; he doesn’t want to go at all. No longer in number ten, he can’t accept he’s a has been. Squatting...

They’ll be here today, better get to work. Floors cleaned, beds made up; I can’t remember when I last worked so hard, for free-really, it...

Hot June, hip Paris, hurrying and harassed, as we run to board the cramped and crushing metro carriage. And then, a voice from...

Who left that light oan? Get a fucking grip! Ye canny dae that these days, so flip the switch. The laissez faire establishment are on...

Should I stay? I shout to the house. I’m the best you’ve got, tell me I’m wrong. I mean, who can lie, cheat and bluster like me, and...

He was a slow starter, took his time, building his case, with a lawyers mind. It seems to coming together now, and he’s taking apart the...

I always liked candy floss, as a child; the smell, the taste, drove me wild. The fair, the shows, exciting rides seemed, to a child the...

There were no parties at Downing street. We followed guidelines when we would meet. There were no parties at Downing Street. The birthday...

Okay, it might’ve been a party; I just didn’t know it. How did they know it was my birthday, anyway? Alright, I did blow out the candles,...

Listen here you candy floss twat, it’s no the cakes that made me fat; naw, only the best of Scottish lamb, reared in the best of Scottish...

That’s the third time you’ve said that-are you forcing solutions? You might choose to dae things that way, but I’m no interested in whit...

Malevolent Malik has really pissed me off- two panels, a post and our privacy gone . It’s a waiting game straight after the storm when...